For schools who follow a traditional school year, the first set of parent teacher conferences are occurring or will be occurring soon. How can parents and students prepare for conferences. Are they scary? What information should you be learning about your child? What can you expect? If you have a child in lower elementary you may be getting ready to attend your first conference. For some parents these meetings are a walk in the park… their child is progressing, they are kind, they are class leaders. For other parents they hear for the first time that their child is having behavior issues or academic issues. For other parents these meetings are stressful due to their own experiences when they went to school. What to expect can vary from school to school and from grade level to grade level. Here are some things to consider before arriving at Parent- Teacher Conferences.

1. Should my child attend? If you are unsure if students are expected to be in attendance. Ask!! Some teachers will have student lead conferences others would rather discuss progress without the student at the meeting. If you feel strongly that you would like for your child to attend, then advocate for that to happen. Sometimes kids feel left out if they know their parents and teachers are talking about them. Sometimes… they want to be in the know.
2. What are my child’s strengths? This is the first questions that I ask when I attend my child’s conferences. I want to hear what the teacher sees as his strengths. This information not only tells me what he is good at but also how the teacher sees him in the class. Is he a leader? Is he a good role model? Does he help around the classroom? It is a great first question because it sets the meeting in a positive tone. If you feel your child is struggling in school I would highly suggest that you start with the positives. It always helps to start on a positive note.
3. What would you like to know about my child that will be helpful? Educating a child is a team effort. As they say, “It takes a village.” Some parents feel intimidated by teachers. Maybe due to their own school experience, maybe due to the teacher, and maybe just because… Consider yourself part of the team. You are an expert on your child. You have valuable information that will be helpful for the teacher to know. It could be about their learning style, leadership style or that they are color blind. The more the teacher knows about your young learner, the better prepared they are to help him or her achieve success during the school year.
4. How are my child’s social skills? As a parent this was always very important to me. Is my child and includer? Is he a leader? Is he being mean to other kids? How does he handle conflict? These are excellent questions. If you don’t feel you are getting the information you want, ask for examples. The more you know about your child while he is at school is also very important.
5. What does my child need to improve on? Not only is this great information to have about your child. You need to know his weaknesses. But this will also tell you what to focus on at home. If he needs extra help on math, then you can provide that at home. This teacher can also give you some tips on how to help your child improve in the specific area.
6. Ask Questions. If you are hearing about problems your child is having for the first time. Try to take pause and ask questions. For example: If the teacher informs you of academic or behavior problems ask the following:

• How long has this problem been occurring?
• When did the problem start?
• Is there a pattern to the problem?
• How different is his performance from others in the class?
• Do you have any thoughts on a solution?

The majority of teachers in the world want the absolute best for your child. And often… they are also a little nervous about conferences. So always be your child’s advocate but also try to remember you and the teacher are probably on the same team.

My kids watch everything I do, and as I’m sure you can relate, kids pick up more behaviors than we often want them to. Kids will imitate how you talk, walk, and many other characteristics. Showing them how you are a lifelong learner is one of those characteristics we can teach our kids AND it is equally important in development and growth!

So what can parents do in their home to show their children how to learn?

First off, it is important to show them that we learn something new on a regular basis. Learning something new involves taking a risk. It involves feeling a bit vulnerable. Show your kids how you take risks. I am not talking about cliff jumping, sky diving, or even jumping into a cold lake. I am referring to taking a risk academically. In the home setting, it might look like asking questions during dinner or reading a book on a new subject.

Second, talk to your children about new things you learned at work, or throughout your day. Tell your kids about a time where you felt uncomfortable at a meeting or during a presentation. Show your kids that taking a risk can be hard but it also pays off!

So what does this look like at home?

Well, tonight I cooked a new meal for my family. My children were present during the preparation and I emphasized that I was learning how to make a new food. I compared it to them learning how to do long division. I had fun learning something new and it was so easy to compare and connect the instructions I had tonight, the recipe, to the same instructions they receive in school. I also showed the kids when I got frustrated. Sure, it’s easier to just talk about the good stuff, but allowing my kids to see that I was frustrated AND that I still continued on to feed my family was a lesson on perseverance in itself.

In making one meal I showed my children how to:

1. Learn something new.
2. Have fun while learning something new.
3. Problem solve.
4. Persevere.
5. Enjoy the finished product.

What other things, outside of the kitchen can you do to model how to learn? Try out new life experiences! The entire family could volunteer at a local charity. You could help a neighbor with mowing the lawn, or shoveling their driveway. If you have teenagers, get them involved in a service-learning project. How does this help students learn? 

Builds Confidence: Taking a risk with a new skill and having support to complete the task

Creates Memories: Almost always the event will be fun for everyone

Establishes Community: Learn what it means to feel fulfilled by helping others.

Produces Success: The new skill will help them in the future… on a different project!

Learning is not something we do only at school or only when someone is working with us or only when we are getting paid. It happens all day every day. Learning is a process. Kids need to be taught that learning is a lifelong skill and that learning can be fun! Teaching kids that reading is a process will hopefully help them feel a bit more confident as they learn new letters and words.

If you are looking for more information on this topic check out:

Top 10 Benefits Of Lifelong Learning

Why Learning Leads To Happiness

Is Your Child Prepared for Lifelong Learning?

What activities do you and your family do to learn new skills? How has sharing your experiences, both good and bad, impacted your children? What other tips would you recommend to model the importance of life long learning?

About the Author Pam lives in Michigan with her husband and two boys. No pets as of yet..  but she is starting to cave on the idea. Over the past 18 years she worked as a Teacher, Assistant-Principal, and Curriculum Specialist. She loves school, reading, learning new things, and taking risks?